


Oops All Barrys

by FourFaces



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: 100 Barrys enter, Barry vs. Barry, Canon-Typical Violence, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Multi, One Barry leaves, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, bordering on a crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-03 23:44:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15829362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FourFaces/pseuds/FourFaces
Summary: A Barry from a bad ending loses his composure and, with the help of planar shenanigans, decides to level grind Barrys to become the Final Barry and maybe get his Lup back.  Can Lup and Barry Prime stop him, or is this Bad End Barry destined to become the Final Barry.Based on an idea my husband gave my centering around the Jet Li film, "The One" ... except waaaay off the rails.





	Oops All Barrys

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is completely meant to be silly and was way to much fun to write. Also, Barry is bad at dice rolls.

**Bad End Barry**

  
It had been a year since he had lost her.

A year since his anchor had gone away. Forever.

A year since he had confirmed that the last piece that tied him to himself was gone.

He missed her.

He needed her.

No amount of necromancy , no magic, nothing could bring her back.

So he began to work on the planes instead. On a way to travel between them.

On a way to find her again.

Even if he had to kill himself again and again to have her.

** Barry Prime **

Being a savior of the multiverse had its perks, but the anonymity of his unassuming demeanor also had perks. He was rarely recognized on his own, only being noticed if he was with Lup or Taako, so he was often able to go about his day without being bothered.

He had been tasked with finding some ingredients for dinner that night when it happened. Kravitz was due home after a strenuous solo mission and Taako demanded the best for his welcome home dinner.

Barry was in the market when he heard the cry. A wagon had fallen off of its jack in the garage across the road, pinning the mechanic underneath.

He felt an odd surge of energy and raced over, his mind taking a back seat as his body seemed to go into autopilot. He lifted the wagon up off of the man just enough for him to weakly crawl out from underneath.

As he set down the wagon, he came back to himself. A crowd had gathered around and someone had called for a cleric to heal the man.

Barry looked down at his hands. Strength had never been one of his main stats but he had just had a surge of energy and lifted a wagon. Had saved someone.

What the fuck?

He ducked away from the crowd and hurried home, ingredients forgotten for now. Taako was a transmutation wizard. He could make something.

He needed to figure out what the hell just happened.

** Barry Cycle One **

  
Barry stood on the deck of the Starblaster, watching as the world was devoured below them. He felt sick about leaving Magnus. About losing him.  
.

He looked back at Taako and Lup, the twins just frozen in horror as they stared at him.

He would have thought it was because of the strange song until he felt something sharp erupt through his chest.

As he slumped down, he looked up to see who had dealt this fatal blow …

And saw himself.

Lup rushed forward, wand at the ready. She didn't understand. She couldn't understand.

A look of realization spread across the other Barry’s face.

He turned a dial on his belt and vanished.

Lup fell to her knees over Barry's lifeless form as blood pooled out from under him. She felt something boil up within her as she stared at the lifeless form of her friend. Her favorite human.

  
She was going to figure this out and she was going to kill whoever this impostor was.

** Evil Bad End Barry **

  
Barry stalked over the ashen plains. He couldn't take that Lup. She hadn't fallen in love with him yet.

He needed to get to a Lup towards the end of the century.

But he would have to be able to defeat himself to get her.

He sent out a bolt of lightning in anger and watched it arc away from him with a strength he had never noticed before.

_Interesting .._

A theory sprung to his unravelling mind. Perhaps killing one of his past selves had led to him getting stronger.

Perhaps he needed to work his way up. To become stronger than any being that had ever lived.

He twisted the dial once again.

It was time to level grind Barrys.

**Barry Cycle Nine**

  
“So, I’ve noticed that I’ve mostly been killed by this doppelganger right when we’re boarding the Starblaster,” Barry began.

“But … Why?” Lup started. “Why would you have a doppelganger in the first place?”

They sighed and looked over their notes again.

“Like … The other you got the jump on us on the Fungus Planet and I still don’t know how he even got onto the Starblaster …” Lup continued. “He just snapped your neck and then you were gone. Did … Did you have a secret twin who stowed away?” Lup asked.

“No,” Barry chuckled in spite of himself. “No secret twins.”

Lup’s ears twitched as she tried to think back on the events that occurred before each Barry Death. There was something that had to be a clue. He was always unguarded. And it always felt wrong when he died. Not even in the sense that she was watching her favorite human die.

It truly didn’t feel like it was supposed to happen.

“At … At the end of each cycle …” she started. “Nevermind … It’s … It’s nothing.”

“What’s up?” Barry asked.

“Just … I don’t know. Maybe if you make it through the whole cycle, maybe you can find a clue as to why there’s some doppelganger that’s killing you. Maybe we can stop it?”

“Maybe …” Barry pondered.

He looked over at Lup. He had been thinking it for over nine years now - ever since their training started, really.

She was beautiful.

She was beautiful and he couldn’t imagine her ever choosing to be with someone like him.

In these quiet moments in the lab, however, it seemed more and more possible. The more time he spent with her, the more he fell in love.

He hoped that he would eventually be able to live out a life with her.

** Barry Prime **

  
Barry felt it as he walked. Felt it as he tried to stay focused. Something was happening to him and it was … good?

No. It wasn't good. Even though he was corporeal, he was still a lich and these random increases in power were extremely troubling. Especially since they were happening rapidly and with no explanation.

He walked into the home he shared with Lup, Taako, and Kravitz and froze when he saw Kravitz, in full reaper uniform, staring him down. In his hand was a clump of raven feathers.

“Care to tell me why you suddenly have thirty-two more deaths?” Kravitz asked.

“Uh … excuse me?”

“In addition to the fifteen deaths that we already took care of, you apparently died thirty-two times in the last three hours!” Kravitz exclaimed.

A black feather fluttered to the ground. Barry and Kravitz watched it land and then Kravitz looked over his list.

“Thirty-three! What the fuck, Barry?”

Lup rushed in from the kitchen and saw the pair, freezing in her tracks as yet another feather fluttered to the ground.

“Bear-Bare, what’s going on?” she asked.

“I … I don’t know. Though, I actually was coming home to find out if like … you’ve been feeling stronger at all or anything, Lup …”

Lup quirked her eyebrow.

“No …” She began, carefully. “Why?”

Barry began to explain to her what happened at the mechanic, how he had lifted the wagon up as if it had been nothing. How the more the day wore on, the stronger he felt.

He omitted leaving the ingredients for dinner at the market. There were more pressing matters now.

“Sweetie, this … this sounds like planar shenanigans,” Lup began. “I mean, we never really figured out how the Bond Engine was able to regenerate us and maybe … maybe this is tied to it?”

Barry considered it. He had run so many experiments during the century and towards the end, he had even come up with some startling theories. He was still curious about how the bonds worked. How the whole journey had been possible.

And he had a way to test it, even if it was was just a prototype right now.

Taako erupted from the kitchen.

“Gods, Barold, you’ve been gone forever! Please tell me you have the saffron!”

Barry hurried past the trio, towards the basement, hoping that Lup could console her brother. He needed to get to the belt. He needed to do one more test and then see if he could answer why there were so many new deaths. Why he was getting so much stronger.

After he crunched the numbers, he wrapped the belt around his waist and prepared to turn the dial.

“Forty-six! Barry, what the fuck?” He heard Kravitz call from upstairs.

** Hyper-Mega-Evil Bad End Barry **

  
Barry stood, watching and waiting outside the Legato conservatory. He felt a little bit of guilt at what he was about to do, but it needed to be done. He could feel himself slipping away, his physical form starting to struggle with the strain of a half-feral lich controlling it.

He had to get his anchor back.

He watched as Lup and Barry ran from the conservatory.He had to make his move, but this moment. He couldn’t interrupt this moment.

He watched in silence, realizing that this memory was too important. He couldn’t pick off this Barry yet. He would have to wait.

He was stealthy, waiting for his moment waiting for his chance to have this Barry alone. To have him and replace him, just long enough to take Lup back with him.

He got his chance as the crew was fighting to leave the prime material plane. He had done this many times before and they were distracted now, trying to cover Magnus’ run back to the cave.

He grabbed Barry from behind and pulled him into the darkness, snapping his neck. He looked up and froze.

Staring at him, a horrified and confused expression on his face … was himself.

The energy radiating off of him was incredible. He was a lich too. A lich with almost as much power as he had.

“What the f-?” The other Barry asked before flickering out of existence.

Barry turned the dial.

Not this plane.

It had been compromised.

And now that he had seen him, he knew he had to continue on his level grind.

** Barry Prime **

Barry sat in his lab, shaking as he took the belt off.

It had worked but …

He was killing himself? He didn’t even remember dying that cycle, but that had been Legato. That had been the outfit he had worn. The marks on his neck were the ones Lup had left the night before they left that world.

“Barry? Barry are you alright? You’re at forty seven -”

“Lup …” Barry whispered before staggering up the stairs to her.

She was waiting for him at the top of the stairs and from the moment she saw him, she knew something terrible had happened.

“Barry?” She asked, supporting him as he cleared the last step.

“I … I saw myself … But not … He killed me but I don’t remember that happening on the …”

Lightning crackled at his fingertips and Lup hurried him over to the living room, setting him down on the couch while Kravitz and Taako looked on.

“Lup … Something’s really wrong,” he started. “There was another version of me and he just killed the version of me that was on the Starblaster when we were at Legato … But I don’t remember dying …”

“Barry …” Lup started.

“I … Remember that theory we were working on in the ninety-seventh cycle? That time wasn’t linear? That we were living out all of these different lives on other planes? That those deaths were real deaths?”

“Yeah?”

“What … I think that might be more than just a theory,” Barry started. “When we first left Tosun … when we left our home and we saw all of those projections, I think we were put into those lives … Maybe …” He bit his lip, nervously. “No clue how that accounts for the lich forms carrying over though … I would run tests on that but Kravitz would have a conniption - more than he’s been having.”

“Maybe …” Lup started. “But … why would you be killing yourself in all of these other worlds?”

“I … I don’t know,” Barry started. “But … Whatever the other me was doing … Lup, he felt like he was out of control. He was powerful and out of control …”

“Like he lost his anchor …” Lup started as the realization dawned on her.

“Yeah … He’s going full lich …” Barry continued. “And somehow, we are both getting energy from our counterparts whenever one dies. If … if the other Barry succeeds and kills me …”

Lup felt a fire burn within her that hadn't burned since Wonderland.

Since Taako had been threatened.

“I guess we need to figure out where he comes from?” Lup began.

“Yeah … yeah …” Barry sighed.

“I can ask our Queen,” Kravitz offered. “Ever since the day of Story and Song, she has been in contact with the Raven Queens of other planar systems. Perhaps one of them knows. Perhaps we can stop him before …”

The threat hung in the air.

If he was able to kill the rest of the Barrys, if he became the final one, then he would be unstoppable.

**Giga-Hyper-Mega-Evil Bad End Barry**

  
Barry was growing in power but he couldn't get any of the Lups he has encountered to love him.

However, that goal was starting to be overshadowed. The power he felt, it was intoxicating. He could barely remember why he had started on this quest in the first place.

He didn’t even feel the same guilt as he heard this world’s Lup cry out in anger and betrayal as he blasted her Barry with necrotic energy. Siphoning off his life force was as mundane now as drinking water.

And just as necessary.

He watched as Lup cried over Barry’s body and a shred of his humanity seemed to cry out to him.

But he couldn’t care. He couldn’t let something so insignificant distract him now.

He turned the dial and returned to the ashen world he had come from. He needed to let the belt recharge. He needed to make sure he was ready.

Soon, he would be taking out his first Lich Barry.

When he removed the belt, he looked down to see the Umbra Staff.

Broken and Empty.

Just like he was.

If only Lucretia hadn’t put up the barrier.

If only they had known sooner.

If only they hadn’t forgotten.

A new form of energy became more addicting now.

Wrath. Anger.

Hate.

He had his new anchor.

And it needed to be fed.

** Barry Prime **

Lup and Barry worked feverishly into the night, running tests and trying to determine how long they had until they had to worry about another Barry showing up to try and kill him. Every spike in power that Barry felt brought him closer to the end.

He wanted to believe that he could defeat the other Barry. That he could take down the lich and maybe set things right.

But there was that worry …

After another spike, he sighed and took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes.

“Lup … We need to come up with a plan B. Something in case he …”

“He won’t,” Lup insisted.

“Lup …” He started.

“No, Barry. I don’t want to fucking think about losing you. When … When I was trapped, that was one of my biggest fears. That I would never see you again. I won’t lose you, Barry. And especially not to some alternate universe Barry who decided to give into the thrall of being a lich. Who was too weak to just … stay Barry.”

Barry smiled sadly.

“I’m not planning on losing, Lup. I just … I want to make sure that everything we’ve worked for is still safe if …”

The words hung in the air between them. Lup sighed.

“I … I might have an idea but it’s really dangerous. And stupid. But … it might be our best bet. And we can still come up with a plan B but this might actually work.” Lup began.

They pressed their foreheads together for a moment before Lup sighed and rose to her feet.

“What uh … What would you like as your focus for this fight? Because I’m going to need to work with it …”

Before Barry could answer, another feather floated to the ground.

Eighty Two.

Barry knew that cycle well. Both he and Lup did.

Strength surged through him and he nearly lost his balance.

His foe had just gotten much, much stronger …

But so had he.

** Ultra-Giga-Hyper-Mega-Evil Bad End Barry **

Barry had to be more careful. His quest had almost ended on the empty world where he had become a lich. The other Barrys had been so much easier to defeat but this one had put up a fight. It had been a true wizard’s duel, this world’s Barry having not only grown stronger from the ritual of becoming a lich but also from having gathered up the diffuse energy from his fallen counterparts.

If he was going to become the Final Barry, he would need to get stronger.

The closer he got to his goal, the harder it was for him to hold onto his humanity. He would often visit the broken Umbra Staff as a reminder, but it was getting harder and harder for him to remember that he just wanted Lup. He just wanted to hold her again.

For her to love him.

But each one he had seen looked at him with terror, with anger, with hatred.

And it was getting harder and harder for him to care.

None of these Lups were his Lup.

They would never be his Lup.

He turned the dial and prepared for another battle.

He was getting closer.

  
** Barry and Taako Prime **

  
Barry and Lup pored over their research. They had come so close to figuring out the pattern, but they weren't sure how it was possible.

Then, late one night, as another feather fell between them in the lab, they realized it.

“Lup. We … the light. It created these mini-instances on these worlds. Even though we aren't there ourselves, the light left our imprints. But our energy can't be destroyed …”

“So it gets dispersed between the remaining Barrys on all the planes. Yeah, but how … how do you exist here when you've now died … eighty-seven times, beyond what your original count was?”

“Well, it is the same reason we didn't cease to exist when we died on our journey. We are woven into the bonds. And so when I'm destroyed on one world, then instead of just ceasing to exist, those bonds and that energy has to go somewhere…”

“So if we destroy him then …”

They stared at the theorems and notes they had taken.

There was a chance.

“Lup … I started drafting this belt in the ninety-seventh cycle but you … no matter which plane you are in, you are smart enough to recreate …”

“But you can't take it,” Lup started. “If you die on that world…”

“I know …”

“And I don't know if I would trust myself enough if I saw, well, me …”

“Are you two still having a nerd orgasm down here?” Taako’s voice called from the stairs. “Just because you're technically undead doesn't mean you can skip dinner!”

Lup and Barry looked to each other.

“Koko?” Lup asked, sweetly. “Can you come down here? We, uh … we need your help.”

As she explained the plan, Lup watched Taako for any signs of hesitation. She knew this was a lot to put on him, but she also knew that he would be the only person any Lup on any plane would trust.

Taako should have been more nervous.

The only other person who this had been tested on was Barry. And he was a lich.

For some reason, though, Taako was oddly cavalier.

“You sure about this, Bro-Bro?” Lup asked, fitting the belt on him.

“Yeah,” Taako smiled. “I got this.”

Lup smiled and handed Taako the plans for the belt.

“If Barry is still alive in that world, give these to him. Otherwise, give them to … well, the me on that world. I have a feeling that that Barry or Lup will also have a similar plan.”

Taako nodded and turned the dial.

He looked around. He could remember this cycle well. One of the few towards the end of their journey where no one had died.

One look, however, and he knew that that was no longer the case.

He was too late. He watched as Barry 93 (as he decided to call him) had his spectral form ripped from his body. Super-Ultra-Giga-Hyper-Mega-Evil Barry had wrested the spectre away, Lup charging up a fireball to blast him.

The Bad Barry uttered a spell and, in an instant, Barry 93 vaporized.

Lup screamed out and cast fireball but it was too late.

The Bad Barry was gone.

Taako watched as Lup slowly dropped her arms to her side. He knew that this would destroy her. Losing Barry this permanently.

He cleared his throat and cast disguise self so that he looked like he had before Wonderland.

Before he had forgotten …

“Lup …” he whispered.

She looked up at him, grief, confusion, and pain in her eyes.

“Taako … What the fuck just happened? Why …”

Taako held out the plans.

“Um … Barry had … He finished this and I think this can fix everything. There’s something crazy going on with the planes and there’s a Barry that’s gone all Lichy and crazy and …”

“He lost his anchor.”

“Yeah …” Taako started. “But … Barry has been working on this for a while and, well, if you are able to construct it and we can head him off before he takes out the last Barry, then maybe at least we can stop this one? I don’t know if we’ll get him back but …”

“I have a better idea,” Lup grinned. “I’ll … I’ll see you soon.”

She grabbed the plans and started for the Starblaster before turning back.

“By the way, which cycle did we figure out those belts on?” Lup asked.

“W-what?” Taako asked.

“Barry and I have been working on these for a while and we haven’t even shown you yet so … Which cycle did we figure it out on?”

“Uh … ninety-nine? The last one?” Taako answered.

Lup grinned.

“Well, thank you Bro-bro Ninety-nine.”

Taako stared, dumbfounded before he turned the dial to return home.

As the world shifted around him, he looked to see Lup and Barry staring at him.

“Well?” Lup asked.

“Well, I have good news and I have bad news …”

**Penultimate Barry **

He looked down at the Umbra staff but he couldn't remember why it was there. Why he even cared.

Something to do with the world around him. The ashen world.

Power coursed through his very being.

But it wasn't enough. He knew he was only half as powerful as he could be. He knew someone else was in his way.

The one who created him.

The one from the song that plagued his mind when he tried to think.

Barry Fucking Bluejeans.

He placed his hand on the dial.

** Barry Prime **

“So, the whole world is cut off?”

“Yeah,” Kravitz began, pacing in front of the assembled IPRE and Bureau of Benevolence members. “The barrier that was put up in the other Barry's-"

“Penultimate Barry’s,” Taako interjected.

“Penultimate Barry's world was successful in keeping out the Hunger in that world but … it choked everything else out. Barry, being a lich, was the only one to survive. Apparently, Lup had not escaped the Umbra Staff in time in that world and after her form was completely sapped of life by the staff … well … she left the Prime Material plane with no way to get back. Whatever had happened in this reality to lead to Taako realizing she was in the staff, it didn’t happen there,” Kravitz sighed. “And the rest of the Birds and … well, all of Faerun …”

“Dust …” Lucretia whispered. “Gods …”

Silence hung in the air. No one wanted to bring up old wounds, but they were staring them in the face now.

“Is she …?” Barry began.

“She was in the stockade at first,” Kravitz explained, “but she led the fight against the Hunger. She hoped beyond hope that she could make it back but when she saw the barrier, she knew.”

Lup sighed.

“Did she lose her composure as well?”

“No. Somehow, she kept it. I guess it was a hope that she would see him again. Now though, I'm pretty sure he is destined for the stockade …”

“So, what do we do?” Magnus asked.

“The only one who can take him down is someone who is as powerful as he is,” Lup explained. “And Barry has been getting stronger as Penultimate Barry has been going about his … quest. So it will be Barry versus Barry.”

“Well, our Barry is in control though!” Magnus argued. “So, he should be able to -”

“We've never fought a lich this powerful,” Davenport started. “Even the liches you fought in Wonderland weren't this powerful.”

“And as far as we can tell, he finds moments to get the drop on a Barry which … that's where we're at an advantage,” Lup smiled sadly. “He didn't get the happy ending.”

“Well, you'll need a cleric with you at all times, Barry-" Merle started.

“Oh, do you know one?” Taako teased, earning a glare from Merle.

“And I can run protection for you,” Magnus offered.

“We can too,” Carey smiled, squeezing Killian’s hand.

“Thanks, guys.” Barry smiled. “Though you all need to be careful. I … well, I can still come back to life. You all can't. You need to make sure that if things get to hairy, you back off.”

If Kravitz had heard that Barry was planning on coming back if he died, then he chose to ignore it.

The Raven Queen would have to make an exception.

That night, Lup held Barry close. She knew they were on borrowed time. She knew there was a chance that she could lose him forever.

But she also had faith in both her powers as an arcanist, as a lich…

And as an artificer.

** Barry vs. Barry **

  
The end came with a lot less fanfare at first.

Lucretia had insisted that Lup and Barry stay on the moonbase. It was the best way to ensure that, whenever Penultimate Barry showed up, there would be less collateral damage. She had even had the base positioned over the expansive ocean to the east, in hopes that, should they have to, the base would be able to make a water landing. The staff was a skeleton crew - anyone with families ordered to get off of the base and wait for a signal to return.

Barry had tried to insist that his friends stay off the base as well, but Magnus, Merle, and Taako insisted that they could be of help.

Lup and Barry were on the quad when it happened. They were caught off guard in a rare moment of quiet on the base. Lup was sitting next to Barry on a bench overlooking the sea when they felt his presence.

They turned around to see him. A stout, human man with the same, iconic blue jeans and white, cotton shirt. Around his waist was a planar belt, cobbled together from scraps.

One look at his face, and they knew that he was almost gone. The softness that often graced Barry’s eyes were gone, replaced by a hardened stare. He had grown a stubbly, greying beard and his hair was tousled, as if he hadn’t attempted to brush it in weeks. Dark circles were under his eyes and his glasses were cracked.

Lightning sparked at his fingertips.

“You …” He growled. “I’ve been preparing for this moment … And it’s finally here …”

Lup started to grab for Barry who sighed and squeezed her hand.

“It’ll be alright,” he smiled. “Thank you for the new focus.”

Lup tried to smile, but the corners of her mouth couldn’t make it all of the way up.

There was still a chance that none of this would work. That Barry would be killed.

That he would be gone from her forever.

Penultimate Barry raised his wand at Barry Prime and cast chill touch. A skeletal and appeared and swiped at Barry Prime who dodged, effortlessly out of the way. He retaliated with his own magic missile, the four bolts of energy grazing Penultimate Barry, barely singeing his white shirt.

He laughed and began to concentrate.

“Looks like we know each other’s opening moves,” Barry prime joked. “Don’t worry, I would try to move onto a higher level spell as well. But you … You don’t have to do this -”

Barry Prime saw some black dust scatter out of Penultimate Barry’s hands and gasped.

“Lup! Run!” Barry called out.

Lup barely dodged out of the way as a black sphere of negative energy erupted out from Penultimate Barry. When it dissipated, Lup watched as Barry staggered to his feet.

“Lup, it’s ok, I promise,” He started. “I’m not bloodied yet … You know what to do.”

“Barry …” Lup started, raising her wand.

“Plan B.”

She nodded sadly and bolted away. Barry smiled, knowingly.

He rose his arm with some difficulty.

“Please, Barry. You have to try to focus. You have to remember your anchor.”

“I am!” Penultimate Barry growled.

Barry cast a black bolt of energy at Penultimate Barry, attempting to enfeeble him.

It missed.

“Fuck,” Barry hissed.

“This is why I am the final one! This is why I deserve the power!” Penultimate Barry grinned.

Barry felt a negative energy course through him. Then excruciating pain as he fell to the ground, grasping at whatever he could to try and lessen the pain.

“Barry!” He heard a cry.

He looked up to see Taako, Magnus, and Merle come rushing down the quad, startling Penultimate Barry.

“Fuck,” he hissed.

He had tried to keep everyone back. He had tried to keep them from trying to intervene.

If they tried, they would die.

“Stay back,” Barry Prime hissed. “He’s too strong.”

“Where’s Lup?” Taako asked.

“Safe,” Barry replied, scrambling to his feet.

“Should I cast Spare the Dying?” Merle asked.

Taako ignored him, rushing to Barry’s side.

“Taako, seriously, we’ve got this.”

“Fuck that!” Taako growled.

He pointed his new staff at Penultimate Barry, aiming a thin green ray at him. The ray hit and Penultimate Barry dropped to his knees in pain, feeling his attachment to his form weaken.

Magnus grabbed for his Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom and ran at Penultimate Barry, swinging at him in rage. He struck twice, dealing a pair of scorching blows on the evil copy of his friend.

Penultimate Barry staggered back, bloodied, in pain, and enraged.

“You’re a poor imitation of Barold!” Magnus goaded. “Come on!”

Penultimate Barry turned on him.

Merle ran to Barry.

“I’m gonna attempt to heal you, ok bud?”

“Merle …”

Merle ignored Barry Prime, bringing him up to half of his health as he whispered an incantation.

“Sorry, Barry. That’s the best I can do for now, but -”

“Fuck!”

They turned to see Penultimate Barry latched onto Magnus, his wounds closing as Magnus grew weaker.

“Magnus!” Barry Prime called out. He looked at Merle and Taako.

“You need to get him away. You all need to get out of here! Lup barely made it out and I can’t lose you guys either. I’ll be fine! I promise!”

“Barry,” Merle argued.

“No. At least … get back sixty feet.”

He rose to his feet and ran at Penultimate Barry.

“Did you forget why you were here?” Barry Prime growled. “Come on and face me!”

Penultimate Barry turned his attention to Barry Prime.

“You’ve got a good team, but they’ll all be dust anyway. They were dust on my home and they’ll be dust here.”

“Barry, you don’t need to do this. You still have your anchor …”

“You’re right. I do.”

Barry Prime sighed and muttered a spell, his eyes going black as he began to cast on Penultimate Barry who stared for a moment, incredulously.

“Really, Barry? Eye Bite?”

And then he felt weak.

Barry’s eyes returned to normal as he watched Merle and Taako help Magnus away from the battle.

“So, you really just want it to be one on one?” Penultimate Barry laughed.

“Two liches, fighting in a confined space? This is already dangerous as fuck,” Barry Prime chuckled bitterly.

A skeletal hand appeared as Penultimate Barry swung to strike at Barry Prime once again, missing completely and stumbling as he breezed past.

Barry Prime looked up. _Any minute now …_

He turned around to face Penultimate Barry and cast again, his own spectral hand barely missing.

Another wave of black, negative energy hit Barry, knocking him to the ground.

He weakly cast back, a ray of necrotic energy screamed at Penultimate Barry who dodged away, effortlessly returning with another swipe of his spectral hand, raking Barry across his back.

Barry turned to see Merle and Taako running towards them.

He cast a wave of force, knocking the two of them back.

_Any minute now …_

“Giving up that easily?” Penultimate Barry laughed. “I'm sure I could feed off of their life forces as well.”

“Fuck you.”  
  
Barry Prime didn't attack back. He only looked down, seemingly at the ground. Taako could have sworn he had seen him mutter something.

He gripped at his shirt as Penultimate Barry dealt a final blow.

“Barry!” Taako cried out, having risen to his feet.

He waited for Barry's spectral form to rise. For his spectral form to be destroyed.

Instead, he only saw Final Barry, staring down at his Barry’s corpse.

“Well, not quite what I was expecting,” Final Barry grinned. “But this will have to do. Maybe I can punch through the barrier and -"

“Hey asshole!” Taako heard a multitude of familiar voices call out from behind him.

He and Merle turned around and saw a multitude of Lups. All of them wearing planar belts.

All of them, fucking pissed.

Lup Prime looked at Taako.

“You better move his body … and also maybe get yourselves to a safe distance. How are his hitpoints?”

“Uh … better than our Barry. But like. Not by a ridiculous amount.”

“Excellent. Oh! And give me Barry's necklace, too,” Lup said. “It's probably stuffy in there …”

Taako blinked at Lup.

“You devious -"

“Less talking, more moving. We have a limited charge on these now to keep something like this from happening again so …”

“Well. I need an explanation after this if we survive,” Taako explained.

“Of course, Bro-Bro. Oh, and have Merle get ready with spare the dying.”

Lup looked back at her army with a grin before turning back at Final Barry who stood, frozen in confusion.

“Lup?”

“Yeah, that's us. And you killed all of our Barrys, you undead fuck. How's 31 points of damage taste?”

“You … but you wouldn't … it's me! Barry!”

“You stopped being Barry ninety-nine dead Barrys ago,” Lup Prime retorted. “Ready, girls? Blast him!”

For a moment, the Bureau was bathed in a hot, blinding light.

As the light faded, the Lups, Taako, Merle, and Magnus stared into the quad.

A pile of ash was all that remained.

A rift opened up behind them. Lup Prime turned to see Kravitz, scythe in in one hand. In the other was a small yet brilliant ball of light.

“Are you ready?” Kravitz asked.

“Give them a minute. I'm pretty sure he's getting the Edward treatment in there right now. Except, you know … worse,” Lup sighed, looking down at the crystal necklace. “But Barry also knows he has to hold back, so … yeah …”

Kravitz nodded and looked over at Merle.

“I'm not going to say anything to the Raven Queen, but if you're going to try and fix this, you had better do it soon.”

Merle nodded and started to speak an incantation over Barry's body.

Lup Prime looked down at the crystal.

“Ok, hopefully this works as well as we theorized. We kinda had to play loose with the rules but, we kind of can since we're … you know, liches.”

Lup Prime crushed the crystal and was thrown back by a wave of force. Another blinding light enveloped the Bureau.

As the light faded, Lup Prime sighed with relief while Taako, Merle, and Magnus erupted into laughter.

The quad was filled with Barrys, most in the trademark Barry Bluejeans red robe, jeans, and, white shirt combo, a few liches, one in the nice outfit worn while in Legato, and one Lich Barry who was hunched over, barely holding onto his form.

Next to Merle, Barry snapped out of unconsciousness as Merle finished casting his healing spells. Magnus and Taako helped Barry Prime to his feet and Lup Prime rushed to him, wrapping him in a tight hug.

“You did great, babe,” Barry smiled. “Thanks for bringing in the cavalry.”

“The first few Lups were hard to convince but once I had the start of my army, well … sometimes I do cave into peer pressure,” she chuckled.

“Holy fuck, what did you do to him in there, Barold?” Magnus gasped as he watched the Lich struggling to maintain his form.

“We just had a talk with him, that's all,” Barry smiled as he removed his glasses and wiped them on his shirt.

Lup Prime and Barry Prime locked eyes and then Lup Prime gasped.

“Oh no …” Lup started. “You didn't… Barry, most people can't handle the disappointed face from one of you, let alone ninety-nine!”

Barry rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly.

“We uh … we felt bad about the possibility of just … unmaking him. And besides, there's still a Lup who would be worried about him.”

They looked to Kravitz who walked toward the sea of Barrys. He extended the hand that had the small ball of light towards the crumpled Bad End Barry.

He looked up and choked out a sob.

“Lup?”

“Barry …” the light whispered. “I'm sorry but, you … you know what this means, right? We have to go back and you …”

Bad End Barry was silent for a moment and then looked away.

“Yeah … yeah … I … Will I still be able to see you?”

“Sometimes,” she replied, sadly. “During visiting hours.”

Bad End Barry nodded and rose up. Kravitz swung his scythe to open a portal.

“Uh … you guys figure out what the fuck to do with all these extras while I get these two back to their correct Raven Queen. And Barry?”

“Yeah?” ninety-nine voices asked.

Kravitz pinched the bridge of his nose.

“My Barry.”

“Heh heh. We know,” they responded in unison.

“God, you're all worse than Merle,” Taako groaned.

“Barry, don’t fucking do that again, ok? Next time you lose your body, that's it. You don't get to just go back into it! And that goes for all of you! Not only did I have to pull strings with your Raven Queens but I also had to pull strings with your Istuses as well! Don’t do it again!”

“Technically it was a modified use of Magic Jar,” Barry Prime grumbled to himself as Kravitz disappeared with the two souls he needed to return.

“So … what do we do with all these Lups and Barrys?” Taako asked.

“Well, the Lups will eventually return on their own,” Lup began, “Since our new and improved planar belts have a time limit now. However … we may have to head back to our house in Neverwinter because I don't think either of us remembered to bring the extras up with us,”she laughed.

Barry grinned and pulled out his wand, cutting a cube in the air. Out dropped a chest.

“Got you covered babe,”Bary grinned.

The belts were passed out quickly, each Barry and Lup returning to their own plane as soon as they were reunited. Lups and Barrys from earlier cycles blushed and took hands as they turned the dials on their belts while Barrys and Lups from later cycles were more exuberant in their excitement to be reunited.

“So, uh … Lup?” Magnus began.. “I know that this was necessary for beating him but … All of those Lups now have access to other planar systems. Don’t you think that might not have been the best idea?”

“Come on, Magnus. Give me credit! I’m responsible no matter what plane I’m in! And now my impulse control is back, so there’s no need to worry!”

Magnus wanted to believe her.

** Months Later **

  
“So, I take it you didn’t get your fifteen dollars back?” Barry sighed, rubbing Lup’s shoulders.

“No. Some stupid asshole, Terry, took it. And Barry … I aim to collect it! You should have seen what Greg Fucking Grimaldis did with it! Who knows what this little shit might do!”

“I’m sorry, Lup …” Barry started. “Maybe sleep on it and we’ll figure something out in the morning.”

“Sure,” Lup lied.

As Barry slept that night, Lup snuck out of bed and headed to their lab.

The planar belt sat on the table.

“Time to get some better reinforcements,” Lup grinned, reaching for the belt.

 

 


End file.
